Abortion and later child-bearing

Here’s a fascinating new study that so-called “pro-choice” people will try to hide:  Having an abortion makes it more likely that a later pregnancy will results in either a low-birthweight baby or a pre-term birth.  Both results – preterm births and LBW – have serious long-term and short-term health consequences for the baby. 

Preterm/LBW babies are more likely to experience one or more of the following:  neonatal death, special care in the NICU, breathing difficulties, feeding problems, immature brains, and jaundice.  Later in life, the child is more likely to have problems with asthma, cerebral palsy, mental retardation, visual and hearing impairments, and poor health and growth, behavioral problems, learning difficulties, ADHD, hypertension, heart disease, and diabetes. 

Study Details

This study was a meta-analysis, which means that they looked at every study that has ever been performed on abortion and preterm/LBW and put them all together to make one huge study.  They used a total of 37 different studies and together these studies give a definitive look at everything the medical community knows about abortion and its effects on later childbearing.

The study found that women with one prior abortion had a 24% increased rate of preterm delivery, and a 47% increased risk of LBW, compared to women who have never had an abortion.  Women with more than one prior abortion had a 27% increased risk of preterm delivery and a 62% increased risk of LBW. 

The researchers hypothesize that mechanical trauma to the cervix, infections, or endometrial trauma might cause such negative outcomes for later-born children.

Reference:

Shah PS, Zao J; Knowledge Synthesis Group of Determinants of preterm/LBW births.  BJOG. 2009;116:1425-1442.

Catholic Vote has done it again!

Catholic Vote is such a great organization.  I loved their first video about Obama, which came out last fall (but most of the major media outlets refused to air it).  It was so positive and so beautifully done.

Now, they have a new video, all about health care reform.  It is called “Big Government Health Care PSA.”  It is hilarious.  Check it out at: 

http://www.catholicvoteaction.org/index.php

 

And, in case you missed the first video, here it is again:

What a fabulous commerical!

Can you believe that the elites at NBC and CNN are afraid of this commercial?  They both refused to air it, although they have both aired other “advocacy” messages in the past. 

Saints coloring pages

Looking for a coloring page to teach your child about a particular saint?  Try these:

Life of St. Germaine, Church Triumphant, St. Francis, St. Francis 2, St. Joan, St. Joan 2, St. Cecilia, St. Rose, St. Martin, St. George, St. Patrick, and St. Angela.

Also, this blogger has the best saint coloring pages I’ve ever seen.

 

“To become saints means to fulfill completely what we already are, raised to the dignity of God’s adopted children in Christ Jesus….One might say the saints are,  so to speak, new Christian constellations, in which the richness of God’s goodness is reflected.  Their light, coming from God, enables us to know better the interior richness of God’s great light….Nothing can bring us into close contact with the beauty of Christ himself other than the world of beauty created by faith and light that shines out from the faces of the saints, through whom his own light becomes visible.”  Pope Benedict XVI

The End of Feminism

“The End of Feminism”

September 18th, 2008 by Genevieve S. Kineke

While hysteria swirls around Sarah Palin, wife and mother of five, everyone would benefit by taking a large step back from the pandemonium in order to better perceive what is really happening. Her supporters rightly point to her affirmation of life and her ability to juggle family with wider commitments as the cause of a nearly unhinged backlash from liberals, but this is wide of the true mark. The actual cause of international outrage is not her motherhood, but the fact that she does not reject fatherhood. There has been a deliberate blurring of these two facts in recent decades, and it is essential that we restore our critical focus. We have been tricked by a clever charade.

For forty years, we have witnessed incalculable energy being spent on the questions surrounding human reproduction, and most of the capital has been used to promote the separation of stable conjugal relations from nurturing subsequent generations. The terrain in these battles encompasses the right to contraception and no-fault divorce, the glorification of sodomy and same-sex marriage, an unprecedented assault on the purity of children, the degradation of traditional family values in the entertainment industry, and the insidious establishment of the mass media as primary communicant with the young which undermines parental authority. The result is moral anarchy and sexual chaos, which have confused so many impressionable souls about the very meaning of family life and sexual intimacy.

Most pro-family advocates over the decades have pointed to the attack on motherhood as an integral weapon in this war. When a mother turns on the child of her womb as a competitor or even enemy, many rightly presume that civilization is in great peril. It is true that Satan approached Eve in order to bring about our fall from grace — and that diabolical strategy has had its successes ever since — but we cannot lose sight of the subsequent means of restoration. Motherhood was key to salvation and always will be, not only because of the life it fosters but because of the bridge it creates.

The motherhood of Mary is instructive for all mothers, in that she received the seed of God and that she restored our relationship with the Creator, thus placing motherhood within a constellation of family of relationships. The enemies of motherhood strategically attack it — not primarily because of its capacity for life but because of the truth it contains: motherhood is the bridge to fatherhood, and fatherhood is the icon of God Himself. The war on motherhood is of a transitive nature: fatherhood is the true enemy.

Many have asked whether Sarah Palin is a feminist. This brings to the forefront the lively debate among women of faith about whether secular feminism, in its ideal sense, can be a vehicle for the beautiful truths about authentic femininity. Sincere and admirable women have taken both sides of the issue, whose primary component seems to be semantics. Some find the word “feminism” so burdened with misunderstandings that it takes too much time to unburden it; others demand the right to use the word in its purest sense out of principle.

The National Organisation for Women (NOW) has tipped its hand in this debate since the success of Sarah Palin in the national arena. Truly, she seems to have embodied their long-standing mission statement, “Our purpose is to take action to bring women into full participation in society-sharing equal rights, responsibilities and opportunities with men, while living free from discrimination” This ripe claim worked as long as Hillary Clinton was in her ascendancy, but the reality of applying it to the Republican vice presidential nominee rankled NOW to its core, and their keyboards must have overheated.

The result was a hot new mission statement, parading down the feminist runway: “NOW works to end discrimination and harassment in the workplace, schools, the justice system, and all other sectors of society, secure abortion, birth control and reproductive rights for all women.” This new creation — wobbling on shaky syntax and wrapped in a hasty cobbling of goals — nevertheless reveals the feminist view of men, who discriminate, impregnate and otherwise harass women as a matter of course. The veil is dropped, revealing more clearly their Marxist dialectic: the new oppressors are men (who make motherhood possible); therefore women must control the means of reproduction as a weapon to free themselves.

Feminists don’t hate motherhood — as long as it’s on their own terms and disengaged from fatherhood. Sperm banks, in vitro fertilization and lesbian adoptions are touted as hip and brave choices, and cloning is the Promised Land on the horizon. Their true hatred is reserved for fatherhood — for the Todd Palin’s of the world — who love and support the women in their lives and collaborate for the good of their shared offspring.

Sarah Palin has forced their hand for two reasons: she allows her children to live and she collaborates with men. While neither is conducive to the NOW worldview, the first is an irritant, the second is the real outrage. As the nation struggles to understand how feminists could possibly not appreciate this example of hard work, courage, balance and brains, we are invited to look beyond feminism into the back rooms of strange bedfellows.

Why are feminists silent about radical Islam, which habitually oppresses and demeans women around the world? Why do homosexuals collaborate with environmentalists, whose appreciation for pristine beauty would seem to exclude bathhouse orgies laced with unnatural substances? Why do Wiccans and New Agers turn a blind eye to fascistic atheists whose material world view would crush their spiritual longings in a heartbeat? Why does every radical parade host this hodge-podge of elements of the most unlikely diaspora?

The answer is found in their shared hatred of all manifestations of fatherhood. The widespread contempt for legitimate authority thus devolves into a collective tantrum ultimately pointed at the Father-God of all. Behind every raging feminist is a wounded heart that blames the patriarchy. Hence the giddy embrace of queer-eyed metrosexuals; the love affair with Gaia and perverted theology; the scornful interpretation of patriotic gestures as shallow jingoism, the drive to castrate the military through social experiments that distract the soldiers from their mission; and the ramped-up government programs that undermine the principle of subsidiarity which is the very source of fatherly strength and oversight within the family.

The goal of feminism is to destroy fatherhood by destroying the links inherent in traditional family life. This scheme allows only two options for men: either excessive brutality to remind the world of the dangers of too much testosterone or the abdication of responsibility through feckless self-interest. Any deviation from these models is discouraged or ridiculed.

Women wield an extraordinary influence in this realm because fathers can only know their children when the mothers cooperate, and male authority finds its legitimate voice only when women bring themselves and their children to submit to it. Given the widespread contempt for masculine strength and legitimate authority among the youth of the West, we would have to conclude that the diaspora has had tremendous success thus far.

Pope Benedict has alluded to this state of affairs in his recent address at Lourdes: “My greatest concern is for young people. Some of them are struggling to find the right direction or are suffering from a loss of connection to family life.” The disintegration of the family, he notes, is alarming. “Sometimes on the margins and often left to themselves, they are vulnerable and must come to terms on their own with a reality that often overwhelms them.”

How is it that reality itself is incomprehensible to these young people? It is because the enemies of God have collaborated to make motherhood and fatherhood themselves alien notions. While this is the end of feminism, it is most assuredly not the end of the family, and women are key to the resurgence of truth. The family is not subject to redefinition, nor a playground for innovation. Strong, well-grounded women are critical because they are the essential bridge to fatherhood, they are the guiding lights for these children struggling to know reality.

Any environmentalist can explain the dynamic interactions among living creatures, and the family is the most important eco-system of all. When the Vatican organized a congress earlier this year to honour the Church’s finest document about women, Mulieris Dignitatem, it called the event: “Man and Women: Humanity in its Entirety,” highlighting the need for collaboration between the sexes. Even the survivors of Lost know that we “live together or die alone.” The problem with feminists is their zero-sum game, in which “grrl power” must be achieved at the expense of boys and men — and babies.

While we fight to defend motherhood, let us always remember that it is the link to something greater — the Father from Whom all fathers take their name. The strategic deconstruction of fatherhood makes it increasingly difficult for children to understand the natural order and to find God — indeed, to find their way to their ultimate home. Motherhood is not an abstract but the solution. Just as Mary’s fiat “magnified the Lord,” authentic femininity is a pole star pointing to the One who makes all life possible, primarily by loving and supporting masculinity in all its richness. Defend motherhood — for the sake of fatherhood. That’s the ultimate target in these turbulent times.

Mrs. Kineke is the author of The Authentic Catholic Woman (Servant Books). She can be found online at www.feminine-genius.com.

Suffering

How to Make the Greatest Evil in
Our Lives Our Greatest Happiness

by Fr. Paul O’Sullivan, O.P.

Suffering is the great problem of human life. We all have to suffer. Sometimes small sorrows, sometimes greater ones fall to our share. We shall now tell our readers how to avoid much of this suffering, how to lessen all suffering and how to derive great benefits from every suffering we may have to bear.

The reason why suffering appears so hard is that, first of all, we are not taught what suffering is. Secondly, we are not taught how to bear it. Thirdly, we are not taught the priceless value of suffering.

This is due to the incomprehensible neglect on the part of our teachers.

It is surprising how easily some people bear great sufferings; whereas, others get excited even at the smallest trouble.

The simple reason is that some have been taught all about suffering; others have not.

SUFFERING IS NOT THE EVIL WE THINK IT IS

First of all, then, suffering is not simply an evil, for no one suffered more than the Son of God Himself, more than His Blessed Mother or more than the Saints. Every suffering comes from God. It may appear to come to us by chance or accident or from someone else, but in reality, every suffering comes to us from God. Nothing happens to us without His wish or permission. Not even a hair falls from our heads without His consent.

Why does God allow us to suffer? Simply because He is asking us to take a little share in His Passion. What appears to come by chance or from someone else always comes because God allows it.

Every act in Our Lord’s Life was a lesson for us. The greatest act in His life was His Passion. This, then, is the greatest lesson for us. It teaches us that we too must suffer.

God suffered all the dreadful pains of His Passion for each one of us. How can we refuse to suffer a little for love of Him?

SUFFERING IS THE GOLD IN OUR LIVES

Secondly, if we accept the suffering He sends us and offer them in union with His sufferings, we receive the greatest rewards. Five minutes’ suffering borne for love of Jesus is of greater value to us than years and years of pleasure and joy. The Saints tell us that if we patiently bear our sufferings, we merit the crown of martyrdom.

Moreover, suffering borne patiently brings out all that is good in us. Those who have suffered are usually the most charming people.

If we bear these facts clearly in mind, it certainly becomes much easier to suffer.

GOD ALWAYS GIVES STRENGTH TO BEAR OUR SUFFERINGS  

Thirdly, when God gives us any suffering, He always gives us strength to bear it, if we only ask Him. Many, instead of asking for His help, get excited and revolt. It is this excitement and impatience that really make suffering hard to bear.

Consider that we are now speaking of all suffering, even the most trifling ones. All of us have little troubles, pains, disappointments, every day of our lives. All these, if borne for love of God, obtain for us, as we have said, the greatest rewards.

HOW TO BEAR SUFFERING

Even the greater sufferings that may fall to our share from time to time become easy to bear if we accept them with serenity and patience. What really makes suffering difficult to bear is our own impatience, our revolt, our refusal to accept it. This irritation increases our sufferings a hundred fold and, besides, robs us of all the merit we could have gained thereby.  

We see some people pass through a tempest of suffering with the greatest calm and serenity; whereas, others get irritated at the slightest annoyance or disappointment. We can all learn this calm and patience. It is the secret of happiness.

An eminent physician, in a conference which he gave to distinguished scientists and fellow doctors, told them that he owed all his great success in life to the simple fact that he had corrected his habit of impatience and annoyance, which had been destroying all his energy and activity.  

Everyone, we repeat, without exception, can learn this calm and serenity.  

PENANCE

We must all do penance for our sins. If we do not, we shall have long years of suffering in the awful fires of Purgatory. This fire is just the same as the fire of Hell.

Now, if we offer our sufferings the very little ones as well as the greater ones-in union with the sufferings of Jesus Christ, we are doing the easiest and best penance we can perform. We may thus deliver ourselves entirely from Purgatory, While at the same time gaining the greatest graces and blessings.

Let us remember clearly that:

1) Sufferings come from God for our benefit.

2) When we are in the state of grace, we derive immense merit from every suffering borne patiently, even the little sufferings of our daily lives.  

3) God will give us abundant strength to bear our sufferings if we only ask Him.

4) If we bear our sufferings patiently, they lose their sting and bitterness.  

5) Above all, every suffering is a share in the Passion of Our Lord.

6) By our sufferings, we can free ourselves in great part, or entirely, from the pains of Purgatory.

7) By bearing our sufferings patiently, we win the glorious crown of martyrdom.

Of course, we may do all in our power to avoid or lessen our sufferings, but we cannot avoid all suffering. Therefore, it is clearly necessary for us to learn how to bear them.

In a word, we must understand clearly that if we remain calm, serene and patient, suffering loses all its sting, but the moment we get excited, the smallest suffering increases a hundred fold.

It is just as if we had a sore arm or leg and rubbed it violently; it would become irritated and painful; whereas, if we touch it gently, we soothe the irritation.

We suffer from ill-health, from pains, headaches, rheumatism, arthritis, from accidents, from enemies. We may have financial difficulties. Some suffer for weeks in their homes, some in hospitals or nursing homes. In a word, we are in a vale of tears. Almighty God could have saved us from all suffering, but He did not do so because He knows in His infinite goodness that suffering is good for us.

PRAYER

We have a great, great remedy in our hands, that is, prayer. We should pray earnestly and constantly asking God to help us to suffer, to console us. or if it pleases Him. to deliver us from suffering. This is all, all important.

A very eminent doctor, in an able article he recently published in the secular press, says that “Prayer is the greatest power in the world.”

He says, “I and my colleagues frequently see that many of our patients, whom we have failed to cure or whose pains we have failed to alleviate, have cured themselves by prayer. I speak now not of the prayers of holy people, but the prayers of ordinary Christians.”

We should above all pray to Our Lady of Sorrows in all our troubles. We should ask her, by the oceans of sorrow she felt during the Passion of Our Lord, to help us.

God gave her all the immense graces necessary to make her the perfect Mother of God, but He also gave her all the graces, the tenderness, the love necessary to be our most perfect and loving Mother. No mother on earth ever loved a child as Our Blessed Lady loves us. Therefore, in all our troubles and sorrows, let us go to Our Blessed Lady with unbounded confidence.

THE MEMORARE

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother. To thee do I come, before thee I kneel, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer them. Amen.

The Donut Man teaches and entertains

The Donut Man recently came to Columbus to perform a concert.  Since we don’t get cable, I didn’t know who he was until shortly before the show.  The Donut Man is a children’s entertainer who teaches the faith thru stories, songs, and his famous puppet, Duncan (a donut!). 

My friend lent us one of his DVD’s.   I expected his routine to be mostly “fluff”, but I was wrong.  This man is incredible.  My kids absolutely love him, and he teaches the faith wonderfully as well.  After the show, The Dancer even posed with the Donut Man for a picture, seen below:

 donut1.jpg

The Donut Man appeals to children ages 1 to 10.  Even my one year old, Smiles, loved Duncan the Donut.

donut3.jpg

If the Donut Man comes in concert anywhere near you, I highly suggest that you go see him!  Your children will love him!  If not, you can always enjoy his DVD’s, available at his website, www.donutman.com.  He also is starting a blog that will share more about his faith journey at www.lateforsupper.com.

 Enjoy!

donut2.jpg

Resources for Teaching the Faith

Below are a list of books, videos, CD’s, games, and other resources that are fabulous for teaching the Catholic faith to 3 to 6 year olds.

 

 

 

Our Favorite Books 

Almost any book by Tomie DePaola is great.  Our favorites include:  The Parables of Jesus; The Miracles of Jesus; Queen Esther, Patrick: Patron Saint of Ireland; Christopher: the Holy Giant; The Clown of God; Mary; Angels, angels everywhere (See my Christmas book suggestions for more great DePaola books).   

If your child likes search and find books, then don’t miss three books by Philip D. Gallery:  Can You Find Bible Heroes?; Can You Find Jesus?; Can You Find Saints? 

I also cannot recommend the  Treasure Box series highly enough.  My kids love these books, and teach so much about the faith.  They tell stories about St. Therese of Liseux, Mary, guardian angels, and missionary priests.  The books also have additional catechetical information on the inside cover to teach parents as well.  The only drawback of these books is that a story may begin in Book 1, but be continued in Books 2 and 3.  Therefore, owning the entire set is best.  The Naturalist has been so inspired by these stories that he often asks, “What can I do to help you Mommy?” and he almost always gives half of his dessert away to one of his sisters now too!

Other favorites include:  

Doman, Regina.  Angel in the Waters

Goody, Wendy.  A peek into my church  (long, but otherwise good)

Gortler, Rosemarie.  Just Like Mary

Gortler, Rosemarie.  Little Acts of Grace

Gortler, Rosemarie.  The Mass Book for Children

Lovasik.  New Catholic Picture Bible

Nobisso, Josephine.  The Weight of a Mass: A Tale of Faith

Redmond, Zelie.  The Adventures of Sister Regina Marie.

Roche, Maite.  The Gospel for Little Children (available from www.chcweb.com)

Roche, Maite.  The Bible for Little Children (available from www.chcweb.com)

Stanton, Sue.  Child’s guide to the Mass

Vollbracht, James.  Small Acts of Kindness. 

Wildsmith, Brian.  The Easter story

Wildsmith, Brian.  Mary

Wildsmith, Brian.  St. Francis

If your children like to draw, I highly recommend Draw And Tell Saints by Julie A. Petras, as well as A Catholic How to Draw

We also like Arch Books, which are paperback books that teach Bible stories.  They are short, they rhyme, and many are available at Amazon. 

Videos

CCC makes some fabulous animated videos about the lives of the saints.  Stay away from the Guardian Angel video and the Saint Nicholas video - they are a bit violent.  However, the big favorites in our house are:

Bernadette Princess of Lourdes

Saint Patrick

Saint Francis

Fatima

St. Francis Xavier

A great Easter video is The Miracle Maker

Any video by the Donut Man (www.donutman.com) is also a sure hit! 

CD’s

My kids absolutely love the Cat Chat CD’s.  I only recommend these because they’ve done wonders for the kids.  The Dancer will frequently be heard singing, “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord.  And my spirit rejoices in God my savior….”  The Naturalist seems to have learned lots of great information from the CD’s as well too, such as the meaning behind the use of incense at Mass.  However, I do warn moms that the CD’s use contemporary worship music, and I’m not big on non-traditional worship music.  Also, the stories focus on Papa and his two kids – Mama is deceased.  I always turn the volume down when they discuss how much they miss Mama or how Mama died.  We enjoy all the volumes, except “The Mass Comes Alive”.  My kids like that volume the least.  Check them out at www.catchat.ca

My children also love the Glory Stories  CD’s. They don’t have the catchy music that Cat Chat has, but they do tell great stories about the lives of great saints.  We often listen to these while driving in the car.  Most CD’s tell the stories of two saints and are about a half hour in length. 

 

Games, Classes, etc…

 

A popular game in our house is Saint Bingo

 

 


If you are at all able, I highly recommend enrolling your children in a Catechesis of the Good Shepherd Class.  This is the only activity that The Dancer likes more than dance class, and the Naturalist likes more than tennis class.  It is no exaggeration to call Good Shepherd class the highlight of their week.  Check out their website for more info:  www.cgsusa.org.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My kids are also big into St. Therese of Liseux’s sacrifice beads.  I found the cheapest price at Franciscan Sisters website. 

 

The Link Between Contraception and Divorce

Below is an article I wrote some time ago which attempts to explain why couples who use contraception have a 50% divorce rate, while couples who do not have only a 2% divorce rate.  The article begins by discussing why the birth control pill caused a large increase in divorce when it first debuted on the market in the 1960’s, and then the article goes on to discuss why the use of contraception continues to cause divorce today.  Enjoy!

 

The Link between Contraception and Divorce

 

Divorce has reached epidemic proportions in this country.  More than one million divorces occur in the United States each year, and couples entering first marriages have a 50% chance that their union will end in divorce.  This article will attempt to explain why the use of contraception in marriage often leads to divorce.

 

Good statistics on divorce rates have been kept since shortly before the Civil War.  At that time, divorce was extremely uncommon, and only about 2 in every 1,000 marriages ended in divorce every year.  Between 1860 and 1960, divorce rates exhibited a slow upward trend, with the exception of the years during the Great Depression, and shortly following World War I and World War II.  Each of those three periods experienced a short duration of an increased divorce.  Shortly after the end of each of those three crises, divorce levels returned to its normal slow creep upward (Michael, 1988).  Therefore, for the first hundred years that good data was available, divorce rates stayed fairly constant, and only very small increases to the divorce rate were seen. 

 

However, beginning shortly after 1960, divorce rates changed dramatically.  The slow, small increases seen in the divorce rate for the past hundred years changed into a doubling of the divorce rate in only a decade.  Starting around the mid-1960’s, a new trend emerged, and the trend looked completely different than any divorce trend seen before.  Prior to 1960, the divorce trends only increased slightly for about 100 years.  After 1960, the divorce trends changed from a slow creep to a doubling of the divorce rate.  Those high rates of divorce persist today.   

 

What happened in the mid-1960’s to cause such a radical shift in the divorce rate in such a short period of time?  Certainly, many societal changes occurred in the mid-1960’s, and many of the originally suspected causes of the doubling of the divorce rate have been eliminated.  Michael (1988) provides an excellent review of all the possible factors that were found to be unrelated to the jump in the divorce rate.

 

For example, the rise in the divorce rate was not specific to only the U.S.  Both Michael (1988) and Fukuyama (1999) note that similar post-1960 divorce patterns can be seen in many (but not all) countries around the world.  Therefore, it is quite clear that the explanation is not related to something specific to the United States.  Interestingly, each country’s jump in divorce rates all started at approximately the same time (around the mid-1960’s).  Therefore, the rise in divorce was not caused by anything unique to the United States.

 

Second, many states loosened the restrictions of divorce laws beginning around 1970.  However, the sudden rise in divorce began approximately seven years before the divorce laws changed.  Therefore, “no-fault” divorce did not cause the doubling of the divorce rate from the mid-1960’s to the mid-1970’s, since the doubling began well before the divorce laws changed.  Michael (1988) confirms this conclusion by citing research by several authors that all agree that the creation of loose divorce laws followed (instead of proceeded) the increase in divorce.  Of course, current easy divorce laws do not help the divorce rate in this country, and it may have some impact on some couples today.  However, the sudden rise in the divorce rate in this country from the mid-1960’s to the mid-1970’s cannot be attributable to the change in divorce laws.

 

Michael (1988, 1978) also points out that the sudden increase in the divorce rate did not occur as the result of a population shift in age.  Most divorces occur in the first five years of marriage.  Therefore, Michael points out that a rise in the divorce rate might simply reflect an increase in the proportion of younger individuals in the population.  For example, as baby boomers reached marrying ages, a higher proportion of younger, newer couples existed among all married couples.  If a higher proportion of married couples are recently married, then the divorce rate would increase because newer couples have the highest likelihood of divorce.

 

However, Michael again notes that this is not the case.  He states (1988) that “the decade’s rise in divorce is surely not due to a shift in the age structure of the married population.”  Thus, while the aging of baby boomers does account for a small amount of the increase, it does not explain the majority of the increase. 

 

Michael (1988) also notes that the increase in the divorce rate did not also increase due to a higher proportion of second marriages.  Second marriages experience higher divorce rates than first marriages.  Therefore, if more marriages were second marriages, this, too, could explain the rise in divorce.  Michael again points out that this did not occur. 

 

Finally, Michael also notes that no regional trends in the U.S. divorce rate can be found.  Therefore, the rise in divorce cannot be explained by anything that might be specific to a certain geographical area, like the East Coast.  Divorce rates doubled across the country at approximately the same time.

 

Therefore, although each of the above explanations sounds plausible, the data finds that all of the above causes did not cause the doubling of the divorce rate.  Of course, Michael (1988) points out that these factors might explain some of the rise in divorce.  However, he states, “ …taken in isolation they do not appear to provide a good explanation for why the divorce rate doubled between, say, 1963 and 1974.  That doubling of the U.S. divorce rate represents a major demographic phenomenon; there has been surprisingly little analysis of it as yet.” 

 

If geographic trends, law changes, demographic shifts, and other possible causes do not explain why the divorce rate doubled so dramatically, what does?  Michael (1978) noticed a unique phenomenon that provided the first clue.  He discovered that the majority of all those divorces occurred among young couples in their 20’s and 30’s.  Therefore, while the increase in divorce did not occur simply because of the large number of baby boomers, the increase in divorce did seem limited to younger couples in their 20’s and 30’s.  This brought further proof to the idea that the loosening of divorce laws and other changes did not cause the divorce rate to double.  Changes in divorce laws would have affected younger and older couples more equally.  However, back in 1978, Michael was among the first researchers to realize that most divorces were occurring among couples in the prime of their fertility.  Michael was also among the first to suspect that the rising divorce rate could have some relationship to the postponement of that fertility. 

  

Changes in Fertility

 

Did anything dramatic occur in the mid-1960’s that might have an influence on fertility?  Most definitely.  The birth control pill became widely used around this time.  Michael notes that the divorce trends mirror the trends of contraceptive use. In 1963, only 3% of women were using the birth control pill or IUD.  In 1973, use of artificial contraception reached a record high, with 48% of all women using the Pill or IUD.  Michael notes that new contraceptive technology reached a saturation point in the mid-1970’s, and any woman that wanted access to the Pill or IUD was able to have it.  It was also at this same point in time that divorce rates peaked and remained steady at 50%. 

 

The trends in divorce and the trends in contraceptive use mimic each other.  Contraceptives weren’t officially legal in the United States until 1965, because Protestant legislators banned the sale of contraceptives by passing the Comstock laws in the 1800’s.  It wasn’t until the 1965 court case of Griswold v. Connecticut that contraception was officially made legal in this country. Therefore, both divorce and use of contraceptives were limited before the mid-1960’s, but both doubled approximately 10 years later.  Is this a coincidence, or are the two trends related?

 

The invention of the Pill and IUD brought about a “contraceptive revolution”, because they provided effective means of preventing pregnancy.  This is completely different from other methods of contraception that existed prior to 1965, like condoms and diaphragms.   Prior to the invention of the birth control pill, there was no effective method of preventing pregnancy.  Many women used barrier methods like condoms and diaphragms, but they were not particularly reliable.  Current research finds that among married women over the age of 20, condoms have an annual failure rate of 12%.  (Teenagers have an 18% annual failure rate when using condoms).  Diaphragms have an even higher annual failure rate, at 18%.  Notice that these statistics are annual failure rates – meaning that they don’t even begin to suggest what a couple’s failure rate may be over the course of an entire marriage.  In fact, Michael (1999) notes that women using condoms (before the advent of the Pill) averaged anywhere between 0 and 4.8 unplanned pregnancies over the course of a marriage.  Therefore, prior to the debut of the birth control pill, couples had a lot more “surprise” pregnancies than they currently do today. 

 

Consequently, prior to 1960, unplanned pregnancies were common.  However, shortly after the 1960’s, contraception became available, methods of surgical sterilization improved, and abortion became legal.  Therefore, in less than a decade, women’s positions changed from having little control over their fertility to having complete control over their fertility (assuming a woman was willing to terminate contraceptive failures by abortion). 

 

Is there any evidence that this radical shift in fertility influenced the divorce rate?  Indeed, many studies have found a higher rate of divorce among contraceptive users, the first study conducted in 1974 by the Royal College of General Practitioners.  They were surprised to find that divorce was twice as common among Pill users as among non-Pill users.  Many additional studies conducted since the 1970’s have confirmed this finding. 

 

In addition to studying couples, researchers have also compared various countries.  They’ve found that countries with the lowest rates of contraception use (like Southern and Eastern Europe) have lower divorce rates than Northern and Western Europe, which have high rates of contraception use.   (Spinelli and colleagues, 2000; Fukuyama, 1999).  Additionally, Japan did not allow the birth control pill to be used until late in 1999, and Japan has a low divorce rate.

 

Therefore, it isn’t surprising that research by Michael (1988) and Fukuyama (1999) found that use of the Pill  directly caused about half of the increase in divorce between the mid-1960’s and the mid-1970’s.  The second factor, which caused the other half of the increase in divorce, was indirectly related to use of the Pill – women entering the workforce.  Women were not able to remain in the workforce reliably before the advent of contraception, because careers were often interrupted by an unplanned pregnancy.  Consequently, the divorce rate doubled because of the Pill and because of women in the workforce, and these two factors are strongly tied.  Therefore, either directly or indirectly, artificial contraception has, almost singlehandedly, doubled the divorce rate in this country. 

  

Contraception and the Divorce Rate

 

It is easy to understand why contraception increased the divorce rate in the mid-1960’s.  The Pill was a “shock” to marriages – an unexpected occurrence that greatly altered couples’ expectations.  Shocks to a marriage often result in instability, and are not limited to the Pill.  For example, winning the lottery or losing a fortune both produce a “shock” to a marriage, because a significant and unexpected change in a couple’s financial situation occurred.  Similarly, the death of a child also results in a high likelihood of divorce, because the child’s death was both unexpected and highly tragic.  Wars (Michael, 1988) and major illnesses (Glantz and colleagues, 2001) also cause shocks to marriages, and tend to destabilize them.  Therefore, given the enormous change in fertility rates caused by the Pill, it is easy to understand how the advent of the Pill caused a shock to married couples.  The Pill’s arrival produced the same instabilities as couples winning the lottery, losing their fortunes, sending a spouse off to battle, being diagnosed with cancer or another serious illness, or even experiencing the death of a child.  The Pill radically altered fertility, and this unexpected situation gave rise to many new problems for married couples. 

 

Many couples suddenly found that they were incompatible when it came to the decision to use contraception.  Since this new technology was unexpected, fiancées were unable to determine before marrying whether they would be compatible on the use of contraception.  Therefore, some married couples found that they shared different preferences for use of the new technology.  If one spouse wanted to use the Pill while the other did not, a conflict arose.  The Pill presented an unexpected option for many couples, and the decision to use or not use this new option was a source of conflict for some couples.

 

However, if this “unexpected option” were the only way the Pill influenced divorce, then today’s divorce trends would look much different than they actually do.  If the Pill only influenced divorce rates upon its initial debut, then the Pill would have only caused a sudden increase in divorce, followed by a return to pre-Pill rates.  This short “blip” on the graph is exactly what is seen around the Great Depression, World War I, and World War II.  Unfortunately, the Pill did not cause a short “blip” on the divorce trends like wars do.  Instead, the Pill and other contraceptives increased divorce rates and kept them at 50%.   The Pill caused the divorce rate to double from 25% to 50% in less than ten years, and the high 50% divorce rate remained.  Therefore, aside from the Pill’s effects on women in the workforce, the Pill must continue to influence the divorce rate even today. 

 

How else does contraception influence the divorce rates, both then and today?  Eight reasons are identified why the use of contraception increases the current divorce rate. 

 How contraception causes divorce today 

First, contraception gives couples an option as to how many children they would have, and when they would bear those children.  Consequently, today’s couples are able to disagree about childbearing issues.  Prior to the Pill, couples assumed that perfect control of their fertility was not an option, and an attitude of flexibility was adopted.  However, contraception now placed fertility on the bargaining table, and couples could decide if they will have children, how many children they wished to raise, and when.  If the man and woman didn’t have the same preferences, friction often arose.

 

Consequently, many married couples plan the births of all their children.  On the surface, this would appear to be a positive outcome, because if the woman knew she would become pregnant, she can improve her nutrition, quit smoking, not drink, and engage in other positive behaviors.   However, the reality is that the “planned” or “wanted” child in marriages means that the child fits into a rigid agenda.  In contrast, in pre-Pill days, pregnancies were not always planned and instead, children were viewed not as “planned” but as “welcomed”.  A “welcomed” child is one who may not be planned, but accepted lovingly into the family nonetheless.  Therefore, the difference between a “planned” pregnancy and a “welcomed” pregnancy may appear to be minor, but it further underscores the less flexible attitudes today’s couples have about when and how many children they might bear.

 

When society insists that all children must be “planned” and “wanted”, it sets those children up for all types of expectations that didn’t exist prior to 1965.  Leon Kass (2002) states, “Few seem to care about what it means for a society increasingly to regard a child not as a mysterious stranger given to be cherished as someone to take our place, but rather as a product of our will, to be perfected by design and to satisfy our wants.” 

 

Additionally although contraception is much more effective today than it was prior to the 1960’s, contraceptive failures do sometimes occur.  Unfortunately, an unplanned pregnancy in the “post-Pill” era is more unexpected and oftentimes more problematic than before 1965.  Prior to the Pill, flexibility was always maintained, but in post-Pill America, an unplanned pregnancy in a marriage can create much more instability and emotional trauma.  Further, a contraceptive failure caused by the Pill is often seen as the wife’s fault, and this, too, negatively impacts both women and marriages.

 

A second way that the Pill increases divorce rates is by delaying the birth of the couple’s first child.  Research by the Nobel Prize winning economist Gary Becker from the University of Chicago and other researchers that states that the presence of young children in the household inhibits divorce.  According to Becker, the presence of a young child in the house is associated with a 30% lower divorce rate between the fifth and fifteenth year of marriage.  If there are two children in the house instead of one, it decreases the likelihood of divorce by an additional 30%. 

 

Why might the delay of childbearing cause an increase in the divorce rate?  No studies have found the answer, but many notable academics have offered very plausible hypotheses.  For example, Dr. Janet Smith (1999) notes that couples who bear children early in their marriages will be more motivated to keep the relationship together for several reasons.  First, most couples (and almost all researchers) believe it is in the best interests of children to live in an intact household.  Therefore, love for their child will motivate them to seek out what’s best for that child.  Second, especially for the husbands, a divorce will often result in less time with their child, because the child would no longer live under the father’s roof.  Therefore, it is in the best interests of both the child and the parents to keep the relationship together.  The child will benefit from two loving parents while the parents will benefit by maximizing their time with their child.

 

Janet Smith gives a second reason why couples who delay childbearing might have higher divorce rates.  Smith notes that parenthood forces individuals to “grow up,” in a sense.  Being a successful parent means developing positive traits such as patience, understanding, and a willingness to make sacrifices for the good of the family. Of course, developing such virtues does not happen overnight.  Instead it is often a gradual process, but once attained, these virtues provide benefits both for the child and the spouse.  Additionally, parents must role model the types of positive behaviors they wish to promote in their children, such as avoiding the use of profanity, eating their vegetables, and even going to church.  These positive traits are not only beneficial for a child, but for spouses as well. Further, Smith argues that when people become parents, they often care about a wider spectrum of issues, such as the quality of the schools, the crime rate, and pollution.  For most individuals, becoming a parent requires that individuals adopt more positive traits that benefit not only their relationship with their child, but their relationship with their spouse as well. 

 

Countless articles in various parenting magazines agree with Smith’s assertions.  For example, a 2003 article in Babytalk was entitled “Eight ways motherhood has made me a better person.”  Additionally, in American Baby’s August, 2003 issue, author Marisa Cohen argues that the overwhelming majority of parents wish to become “neater, healthier, better-mannered” for the sake of their child, “who watches and copies every move I make.”  She also says to “Ask any new mom and she’ll probably admit she’s trying to curse less, read more, and trade junk food for healthier fruits and veggies.”  Other efforts cited by Cohen of new parents include limiting smoking, drinking, eating junk food, yelling less, forgiving in-laws for the sake of the child’s relationship with their grandparents, picking up litter, caring more about the community, and kicking bad habits even as small as nail-biting.  Additionally, Keyes (2002) found that parents are twice as likely as childless adults to volunteer in their community. 

 

Therefore, delaying childbearing keeps couples from working to keep the marriage together, and also from improving themselves.  Another drawback to delayed childbearing is a decrease in marital fidelity.  Gray and colleagues (2002) found that the interaction of a man with his family causes his testosterone levels to drop, contributing to his faithfulness.  Gray found that all men had similarly high levels of testosterone in the morning, but married men’s levels dropped more than bachelors, and fathers showed an even more dramatic difference.  Other studies have found that artificially increasing testosterone levels cause men to “play the field”. 

 

Third, the Pill has many side effects.  Many women experience side effects from the Pill, including irritability, mood swings, headaches, loss of libido, nausea, irregular bleeding, hair loss, vaginal problems, gum disease, inability to climax, and weight gain.  What man wants to be married to a woman that is moody, irritable, doesn’t want to have sex, and has gained weight? 

 

Fourth, the Pill often increases the rates of infertility, which can very stressful on marriages, and can lead to grief and sometimes conflict.  Also, the Pill causes many medical diseases and cancers, and any of these diseases can take a great toll on a family’s emotional heath, financial heath, and general well-being. 

 

Fifth, the Pill also increases the divorce rate by making it easier for couples to cohabitate, or live together, prior to marriage.  Unfortunately, cohabitating couples are 80% more likely to divorce than a couple who did not live together prior to marriage.  Before the invention of the Pill, cohabitation was limited mainly to older, divorced couples who had past the peak of their fertility.  However, the Pill brought improved fertility control and made cohabitation without the fear of pregnancy possible.  Since contraception makes it easier to cohabitate prior to marriage, it also increases the divorce rate in this manner too. 

 

Sixth, contraception makes it easier for couples to engage in premarital sex.  Heaton (2002) finds a higher divorce rate among couples who engage in premarital sex, and David Larson, Ph.D., a researcher at the National Institutes of Health, states, “Couples not involved (with intercourse) before marriage and faithful during marriage are more satisfied with their current sex life and also with their marriage compared to those who were involved sexually before marriage.” 

 

Seventh, if one can use contraceptives within marriage and before marriage to avoid pregnancy, then couples can also use contraception to avoid pregnancy during extramarital affairs.  An extramarital affair can be particularly devastating to a marriage, and the advent of effective contraception (coupled with abortion) can make it that much more difficult for a spouse to “get caught” cheating.  Consequently, contraceptives have also negatively impacted the divorce rate by making adultery easier, and adultery is devastating for marriages. 

 

In fact, contraception has contributed to the increase in extramarital affairs in more than one way.  In addition to preventing men from “getting caught” by eliminating the risk for pregnancy, contraception has encouraged increased numbers of sexual partners, and an earlier age at first intercourse.  White and colleagues (2000) found that individuals that lost their virginity at a younger age, married someone besides the person they lost their virginity to, and had a higher number of sexual partners prior to marriage were more likely to have an extramarital affair.  His data finds that men who first had sex before the age of 20 and men with more than 5 premarital sexual partners were significantly more likely to have an extramarital affair.  White notes that his findings have been replicated in other studies in countries all over the globe, including Europe, the U.S. and Africa (Michael and colleagues, 1998; Johnson and Wadsworth, 1994; Mnyika and colleagues, 1997; Konings and colleagues, 1994; Bozon and Leridon, 1996). 

 

Eighth and finally, Michael (1988) also notes that marriage becomes less attractive to individuals that want to be sexually active but do not want to have children.  Since sexual activity is so readily available outside of marriage today, the benefits from marriage are fewer.  Prior to the Pill, sexual intercourse was rare outside of marriage or engagement.  Consequently, marriage has become less rewarding to some individuals that do not want children, because sexual activity is no longer unique to marriage.  When the benefits of marriage decrease, the stability also decreases and the probability of divorce increases. 

 

Therefore, contraception has had a profound effect on our marriages.  Contraception now allows couples to disagree about if, when, and how many children they will have.  It causes couples to be more rigid in their fertility preferences, and an unplanned pregnancy today is much more devastating than it was 40 years ago.  If the Pill fails to prevent pregnancy, blame is often assigned to the woman.  Contraception allows couples to delay childbearing, which delays couples from “growing up”.  Contraception allows couples to cohabitate prior to marriage, which also increases the divorce rate.  Additionally, the Pill and other contraceptives allow both premarital and extramarital sex, both of which also negatively effect marriages.  Finally, sexual intercourse is now easily obtainable outside of marriage, making the benefits of marriage fewer.  Therefore, it should comes as no surprise that couples who use contraception in their marriages have a 50% divorce rate, while those that follow Biblical principles and avoid contraception have only a 2% divorce rate.  Sexual intercourse has been completely separated from childbearing, and an unplanned pregnancy is now considered an “accident” of sex. 

 

Leridon (1981) states, “A new era of contraceptive practices has been ushered in, with the adoption of methods that are permanent in nature and totally dissociated from the sexual act.  With the adoption of these methods, childbearing becomes a fully voluntary act, resulting from the decision to interrupt contraceptive practice that was started before marriage or at the time of marriage; it is no longer an unplanned event that is simply expected to happen some time during the first years of marriage.  The reproductive and contraceptive revolution documented here is clearly still in progress.  Its full implications cannot, therefore, as yet, be completely recognized or understood.” 

 

For anyone who is interested in investigating alternatives to contraception, I recommend that couples try Natural Family Planning (NFP).  Couples who use contraception have a 50% divorce rate.  Couples who use NFP have only a 2% divorce rate.  Additionally, NFP is completely consistent with the Biblical teaching against contraception.  My favorite websites are:

 

The Couple to Couple League www.ccli.org

 

Family of the Americas Foundation www.familyplanning.net

    

Books to get ready for Christmas

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What better way to prepare for Advent and Christmas than some great books?  Below is a list of Christmas/Advent/winter books, appropriate for children ages 3 to 6.  We’ve read most, but not all, of the books on this list.  Some of the books were recommended by friends, but we haven’t checked them out yet.  Please share your favorite children’s books with us, and I’ll add them to the list!

 

Berger, Barbara Helen.  The Donkey’s Dream

Brett, Jan.  Jan Brett’s Christmas Treasury

Burton, Virginia Lee.  Katy and the Big Snow

Collington, Peter. A small miracle

De Paola, Tomie.  Country angel Christmas

DePaola, Tomie.  The Friendly Beasts

DePaola, Tomie.  Four Friends at Christmas

DePaola, Tomie.  Jingle the Christmas Clown

De Paola, Tomie.  The Legend of the Poinsettia

De Paola, Tomie.  The Night of Las Posadas

DePaola, Tomie.  The Legend of Old Befana

Dobrozsi, Beth Braunecker.  The Christian Origin of the Twelve Days of Christmas. 

Dunbar, Joyce.  This is the Star

Fox-Davies, Sarah.  Snow Bears 

French, Fiona.  Bethlehem

Hader.  The Big Snow

Jeram, Anita.  A Snowy Surprise

Keats, Ezra Jack.  The Snowy Day

Kroll, Virginia.  Marta and the Manger Straw:  A Christmas Tradition from Poland

Lewis.  First Snow

Martin, Jacqueline Briggs.  Snowflake Bentley

McKissack, Patricia & Fredrick.  All Paths Lead to Bethlehem

Moore, Clement Clarke.  The Night Before Christmas. 

Neale, John.  Good King Wenceslas.

Seuss, Dr. How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Slate, Joseph.  Who’s Coming to Our House?

Shepard, Aaron.  The Baker’s Dozen:  A Saint Nicholas Tale. 

Walburg, Lori.  The Legend of the Candy Cane

Williams.  The Velveteen Rabbit

Wormell, Christopher. Through the animals’ eyes: a story of the first Christmas

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